Fake Escape

Diablo: You shouldn’t do that to her.

Phoenix: I wasn’t doing anything.

Diablo: You were hiding. Valerie could not find you.

Phoenix: She wasn’t looking very hard.

Diablo: She knows you can open cabinets and doors. You spent the better part of yesterday stashed under the bench or in the cabinet with the cat food. I can’t believe you didn’t chow down.
Phoenix: Would have made too much noise tearing into the bag.

Diablo: Valerie gets worried when she doesn’t know where you are. She even went outside and took a look around the RV. Guess she thought you had managed to get outside somehow. We all know how elusive you are.

Phoenix: I have mastered the trick of disappearing.

Diablo: Don’t do that.

Phoenix: What is with you and that leash? You look like a dog.

Diablo: Hey, careful there. It is no big deal. Today, I got to roll around in the dirt and lounged under the RV while Valerie painted her toenails.

Phoenix: She put that on me and it feels like I have a horse’s saddle on my back. Gives me the willies. When she took me outside, it was hotter than a tin roof. I managed to shed enough fur to knit a sweater. I preferred sleeping the afternoon on the comfortable box that contains 40 copies of The Last Voyage of the Cosmic Muffin.

Diablo: I prefer to be outside. Chased a chipmunk and stalked a herd of turkeys.

Phoenix: I think that is a flock…

Diablo: Whatever.