My Ready

I tweeted, “my ready is going to kick your ready's butt.” @BibleCat, also found on Twitter, wanted to know “in essay form please, could you give me 3 whys as to why you like that saying about 'ready'....Ready? Start typing” Geesh, I am trying to survive out here on the road and now I must stop and do some homework? But the BibleCat is good breed, so I will elaborate.

I spent a long night in Gary, Indiana. Not the charming little place of song in the movie the Music Man, but an economically ravaged city of the Midwest. It looks like a rabbit on the side of the road after the vultures picked through the innards. The good pars are gone. Nothing but the matted fur remains. Conditions like these make my trouble radar beep loud and clear. Every corner here has a creepy look about it.

Most of my road troubles come from dogs, raccoons and the occasional Chinaman who wants to use me as a stock base. But last night I ran into a pride of felines mistakenly taken me as some kind of wuss puss from Tennessee. Little had they heard of Sergeant York, the World War I Congressional Medal of Honor recipient from Tennessee. That’s the way we grow them down on the farm in the hills of Tennessee. I’ve hung with the toughest of street cat and I got a cred of my own.

Sure I have spent my fair share of time on the plump pillows of a couch, or on the window sills gazing at chipmunks. I've spent way too much time figuring out how to open a refrigerator. And sure I have an impeccable coat of fur, groomed to perfection, so intoxicating few peeps can resist the desire to pick me up and squeeze me like I was some sort of roll of Charim. So I can see why the punks thought they could take an advantage.

Here are the reasons why my ready is going to kick your ready’s butt.

1. It isn’t competition that drives my ready. It is survival. I haven’t made all these miles to be done in by a pack of genetic mutants claiming to be of the regal feline persuasion. I live to die a legend, not to be a statistic in Gary, Indiana.
2. I’m on a mission. As a cat of high integrity I do what I say and I finish what I start. Chicago is right around the corner (of this lake) and that is where I said I'm going. I’ll investigate the living conditions of my friends, Rosie and Cheeto, @rosieandcheeto. Make a full report to the World Domination Order and be off to England. My attendance at the royal wedding has been requested of the Queen. I will accomplish my mission. It is in my DNA. Sort of like James Bond, 007, you think? And I have a oily can a sardines to present to the royal couple.
   
3. It is my catitude. I was born ready. I live ready. And I eat ready. Wait…that is, I’m always ready to eat.

So what happened? That's another cat tale.