Green Kitty

Phoenix: You look a little...sick.

Diablo: Ooooo. My belly hurts.

Phoenix: Can't imagine why. What did you eat now?

Diablo: A chipmunk.

Phoenix: Heard they taste like chicken.

Diablo: They do, but only on the way down.

Phoenix: You didn't.

Diablo: Yeah, there is a little hind foot under the bed.

T Shirts

Phoenix: You're selling t-shirts?

Diablo: Not just any old t-shirt, but those with my famous twitter quotes.

Phoenix: You serious?

Diablo: Totally. I'll take my wealth and by a tuna farm.

Phoenix: I don't think tuna grows on farms. It comes from the ocean.

Diablo: Ocean? Like water? Not going there.

Phoenix: Better rethink your plan.

Diablo: Tuna factory?

It's Our Adoption Day!

Diablo: I was bold, tiny and very sick.

Phoenix: I nearly puked on the car ride from the animal shelter to the office.

Diablo: I remember you panted so hard...like a dog. Scared Rob, but he didn't know beans from rice. That's when it was discovered that you really weren't declawed.

Phoenix: Secret weapons. Once we got to the office you spent the next day under the couch.

Diablo: I was sick. No appetite. Traumatic day. She took me to the vet and I bit her finger. Drew blood. But the vet kissed me on the nose. Calmed me down and then he gave me the best canned food ever.

Phoenix: That's when you started going home and coming back to the office every day. Lucky you. You've manage to keep biting her ever since.

Diablo: I got use to riding in the Jeep. It was fun. I'd sit on the dash and watch the telephone poles zoom by. I tried to catch 'em. And I don't bit as much any more!

Phoenix: Those were the days.

Diablo: These are the days. The old man left chicken on the counter the other night. Heaven.

Phoenix: Happy ten years? Or is it nine? It's not a cat thing to keep track of time.

Diablo: Got cake?

Night Watch

Phoenix: What have you been doing?

Diablo: 'a little busy right now.

Phoenix: You have been racing back and forth at least twenty times.

Diablo: There is something outside. It keeps moving.

Phoenix: Where?

Diablo: Look out this window. Better view. Oops! It moved. Back to the kitchen window.

Phoenix: Where?

Diablo: There. Okay, back to the bedroom. I bet'cha you can see it better from there. See? See? What the heck is that? It's huge!

Phoenix: It's a deer. And someone is going to be pissed tomorrow morning when he discovers they have been eating the bushes.

Diablo: Speaking of eating. All this business has made me hungry. Can you eat deer?

Phoenix: You'll have more luck unscrewing the lid to the catfood canister.

Diablo: That can be arranged.

Legions

Phoenix: How' you managing this? These twitter followers?

Diablo: It just happens.

Phoenix: Who are they?

Diablo: I don't know. They just come. Kind of like I built a baseball field.

Phoenix: Build it and they will come?

Diablo: Yeah, that's right.

Phoenix: So what are you building?

Diablo: A legion.

Phoenix: I think you mean a legend. Like in you're own mind.

Diablo: And we'll play baseball and eat hotdogs. Yummm. I can smell them now.

Phoenix: I knew this would get around to food.

Update

Diablo: Guess who twittered me?

Phoenix: Can't imagine.

Diablo: Valerie!

Phoenix: The Goddess of all Sweet Goodness?

Diablo:That be the one.
Phoenix: When's she coming?

Diablo: Soon, I hope. I put in an order for fish. Fresh Ahi!

Phoenix: You'll be lucky to get a pea.

Diablo: Humm? I like peas too.