Bad Alarm Clock

Diablo: I'm doing all the work!

Phoenix: You are impatient, my friend.

Diablo: I'm hungry.

Phoenix: You're always hungry. Now sit here and look cute.

Diablo: She'll never get up.

Phoenix: It's 4:35am. Dawn's breaking. She'll wake up. And when she does, I'll be here to get some petting. Now be quiet. Enjoy the moment.

Diablo: Petting poohie. I'd rather jump from the bed to the floor to the window to the floor and lumber down the hallway over and over again instead of sitting by her pillow listening to my stomach growl.

Phoenix: You're going to hear more than your tummy growl if you don't stop that.

Green Kitty

Phoenix: You look a little...sick.

Diablo: Ooooo. My belly hurts.

Phoenix: Can't imagine why. What did you eat now?

Diablo: A chipmunk.

Phoenix: Heard they taste like chicken.

Diablo: They do, but only on the way down.

Phoenix: You didn't.

Diablo: Yeah, there is a little hind foot under the bed.

T Shirts

Phoenix: You're selling t-shirts?

Diablo: Not just any old t-shirt, but those with my famous twitter quotes.

Phoenix: You serious?

Diablo: Totally. I'll take my wealth and by a tuna farm.

Phoenix: I don't think tuna grows on farms. It comes from the ocean.

Diablo: Ocean? Like water? Not going there.

Phoenix: Better rethink your plan.

Diablo: Tuna factory?

It's Our Adoption Day!

Diablo: I was bold, tiny and very sick.

Phoenix: I nearly puked on the car ride from the animal shelter to the office.

Diablo: I remember you panted so hard...like a dog. Scared Rob, but he didn't know beans from rice. That's when it was discovered that you really weren't declawed.

Phoenix: Secret weapons. Once we got to the office you spent the next day under the couch.

Diablo: I was sick. No appetite. Traumatic day. She took me to the vet and I bit her finger. Drew blood. But the vet kissed me on the nose. Calmed me down and then he gave me the best canned food ever.

Phoenix: That's when you started going home and coming back to the office every day. Lucky you. You've manage to keep biting her ever since.

Diablo: I got use to riding in the Jeep. It was fun. I'd sit on the dash and watch the telephone poles zoom by. I tried to catch 'em. And I don't bit as much any more!

Phoenix: Those were the days.

Diablo: These are the days. The old man left chicken on the counter the other night. Heaven.

Phoenix: Happy ten years? Or is it nine? It's not a cat thing to keep track of time.

Diablo: Got cake?

Night Watch

Phoenix: What have you been doing?

Diablo: 'a little busy right now.

Phoenix: You have been racing back and forth at least twenty times.

Diablo: There is something outside. It keeps moving.

Phoenix: Where?

Diablo: Look out this window. Better view. Oops! It moved. Back to the kitchen window.

Phoenix: Where?

Diablo: There. Okay, back to the bedroom. I bet'cha you can see it better from there. See? See? What the heck is that? It's huge!

Phoenix: It's a deer. And someone is going to be pissed tomorrow morning when he discovers they have been eating the bushes.

Diablo: Speaking of eating. All this business has made me hungry. Can you eat deer?

Phoenix: You'll have more luck unscrewing the lid to the catfood canister.

Diablo: That can be arranged.

Legions

Phoenix: How' you managing this? These twitter followers?

Diablo: It just happens.

Phoenix: Who are they?

Diablo: I don't know. They just come. Kind of like I built a baseball field.

Phoenix: Build it and they will come?

Diablo: Yeah, that's right.

Phoenix: So what are you building?

Diablo: A legion.

Phoenix: I think you mean a legend. Like in you're own mind.

Diablo: And we'll play baseball and eat hotdogs. Yummm. I can smell them now.

Phoenix: I knew this would get around to food.

Update

Diablo: Guess who twittered me?

Phoenix: Can't imagine.

Diablo: Valerie!

Phoenix: The Goddess of all Sweet Goodness?

Diablo:That be the one.
Phoenix: When's she coming?

Diablo: Soon, I hope. I put in an order for fish. Fresh Ahi!

Phoenix: You'll be lucky to get a pea.

Diablo: Humm? I like peas too.