Here

Phoenix: I think we are going to be here for a while.

Diablo: That's okay. I like New York. I get to go outside to play.

Phoenix: Except that 'udder cat is here too. Yells her head off in the middle of the night. I'm losing my beauty sleep.

Diablo: She is blind as a bat. Walk right up to her and she can't tell you are there. Just don't touch the whiskers.

Phoenix: I'd rather not.

Diablo: You sound a little upset. Why? If you're patient you stand a good chance to get some of that good and stinky canned food she'll leave in her bowl. Something we never get a chance to eat.

Phoenix: That's why you have fish breath.

Diablo: Oops. Is it that bad?

Yellow Rice

Phoenix: I think you are pushing our luck.

Diablo: What do you mean? She left it out and then left us here alone.

Phoenix: It was an accident. Not intended for our consumption. Remember the last time? You threw it up. Too spicy.

Diablo: Your guts were spilled out on the bathroom rug too. Now look at this stuff. A whole box of food left on the floor.

Phoenix: That’s because she is packing. I got this feeling we're going to move again.

Diablo: All the more reason to dive into the box. Moving sucks.

Phoenix: What have you got there?

Diablo: Smells good, doesn’t it. Look has no fat!

Phoenix: Uncooked Saffron Yellow Rice? That is what you’re eating?

Diablo: I’m just licking the spices and vegetables. A delicate balance of onion, garlic, bell peppers tomatoes…

Phoenix: Mixed with Monosodium glutamate, hydrolyzed corn gluten, partially hydrogenated cotton seed, sodium aluminosilicate…

Diablo: Hey, isn’t that last one an anti-caking agent?

Phoenix: That might not spew too well.

Cat Heaven

Diablo: There are seven stages to cat Heaven.

Phoenix: Hummm. Let's me guess. Number one. Full belly?

Diablo: That's right.

Phoenix: Number two. Anything dairy?

Diablo: Except blue cheese. Just grosses me out.

Phoenix: Number three. Scratch under the chin.

Diablo: Oooooh, so good.

Phoenix: Number four. Clean Litter box

Diablo: Most definiately.

Phoenix: Hacking up that annoying fur ball. Got to be number five.

Diablo: Oh good one. Hadn't thought about that.

Phoenix: Number six: Feeling the twitching body of a small rodent between your front paws.

Diablo: Such a turn on. Could be a lizard too.

Phoenix: Sleeping in the sun when it is 72 degrees outside.

Diablo: Purrrrfect.

Eastern Standard

Diablo: It is getting late

Phoenix: I can't get her to move.

Diablo: I'm so hungry I could eat a furball.

Phoenix: She has us in a conditioning program.

Diablo: For what? The New York Marathon?

Phoenix: For that Spring forward, Fall back nonsense.

Diablo: That's why she has been staying in bed until 9 AM.

Phoenix: Well it's 5:50 PM. Time to Eat.

Diablo: I'm ready to spring on something. Go jump on her computer again.

You Stink

Diablo: You smell like the vet.

Phoenix: Follow up visit.

Diablo: And?

Phoenix: I like her, Dr. Randall. A bit more gentle than that David guy in New York.

Diablo: Yeah, yeah, yeah... What about your blood work and urine?

Phoenix: You'll be happy to know my numbers are all within the normal range. My BUN also known as Urea Nitorgen, Creatinine and Phosphorus are well within the ranges. Very different from three weeks ago.

Diablo: Wow.

Phoenix: Wow is right. No more injections.

Diablo: How about sharing that KD diet with me?

Phoenix: I heard you need to lose a little weight. Vet actually said I needed to gain some.

Diablo: I've been starving ever since we left New York. Rumor has it we are due for shots next month.

Home

Diablo: Smells the same. Home sweet Home!

Phoenix: You mean to tell me after all that we are right back where we started from?

Diablo: Appears that way. Ain't it great?

Phoenix: What was that all about?

Diablo: I don't know. Guess it was just about a vacation.

Phoenix: Let me see. Six days in a car. Shabby hotel rooms. Trying to use a litter box at 70 miles per hour. Tractor Trailer rumbling by. You hissing at me. Getting tossed to the back seat if I tried to get on the dashboard. Injections between the shoulder blades. Getting dragged out from underneath a bed by the scruff of the neck...or tail as was the case this morning.

Diablo: You know a lot of that could've been avoided.

Phoenix: Yeah, if we just stayed home in the first place.

Diablo: You know what I can't figure out?

Phoenix: What's that?

Diablo: All that traveling and not once did we stop at Cracker Barrel.

Fill 'Er Up

Diablo: Hee-hee-hee.

Phoenix: What is so funny?

Diablo: You look like a camel. Oh, Oh. I know. You look like the Hunch Back of Notre Dame.

Phoenix: Not funny.

Diablo: Oooo, Ooooo! How about a humpback whale?

Phoenix: Knock it off. You better hope you never need fluids.

Diablo: I’m sorry. Can I lick your face?