Fig Newtons

Phoenix: You know you can climb a tree if you want to get that squirrel.

Diablo: Really?

Phoenix: Yeah, use your claws?

Diablo: Hum? Okay. How do I get down?

Phoenix: That is the tricky part. It involves physics.

Diablo: Fizzy-icks? Doesn’t sound too good.

Phoenix: Everything in the universe works on it. Something called Newton’s Laws.

Diablo: Rules, rules and more rules. Like I can’t eat off the dining room table?

Phoenix: Not exactly. More like a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

Diablo: Oh, that explains why dogs chase their tails.

Phoenix: Yeah, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest.

Diablo: Sure I get it. Cat naps. Now that is a law I can live with.

Phoenix: How about for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction?

Diablo: Easy one. Eat cat food. Poop cat food.

Phoenix: Well, something like that.

Diablo: So what has Newton got to do with getting out of a tree?

Phoenix: The Law of Gravity. Seems this Newton guy was sitting under a tree and a something fell on his head.

Diablo: A cat? You want me to fall out of the tree?

Phoenix: You want to get that squirrel, don’t you?

Diablo: I think I'll look for some figs and gravy in the kitchen.

Flashback

Diablo: You see that?

Phoenix: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!

Diablo: Have you heard her say anything?

Phoenix: No, and I don't want to hear anything! What the hell is that RV doing in the drive way?

Diablo: Looks like it is getting prepped for a road trip.

Phoenix: I can tell you right now... I am NOT GOING!

Diablo: Do we have the option?

Cousin Cuisine

Phoenix: Good job

Diablo: Just got lucky. Puke landed right on hardwood floor. No carpet.

Phoenix: Sick?

Diablo: Naw. I think it is that rabbit and pea diet.

Phoenix: Maybe some of that canned food you stole from Booter?

Diablo: Yeah, that too. Why doesn't she feed us any of that stuff?

Vaguely Familar

Phoenix: Smell that?

Diablo: Sure do.

Phoenix: It's that Booter Cat.

Diablo: Guess we are home. Let's see what she has in her food bowl.

Housekeeping

Phoenix: So, who was hiding under the bed this morning?

Diablo: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Phoenix: What's the matter? Scared?

Diablo: No. Just didn't feel like leaving.

Phoenix: Me neither. But what was the alternative? Live under the bed, until the maid comes with the vacuum cleaner?

Diablo: Judging by the loose change, candy wrappers and dust bunnies, I don't think that was going to be a problem.

Phoenix: Amen.

Heading North

Diablo: Excuse me. 'You going to spend all night under the bed?

Phoenix: What’s it to ya?

Diablo: Oh, come on. The motel ain’t that bad. Look there is a nice view from the window. Looks like we are on the third floor. Hey, there's the Jeep in the parking lot.

Phoenix: Jeep. Don't remind me.

Diablo: Man. She got the air conditioning fixed just for us. We are back in Tennessee. Jack Daniels, Barbeque, and Little Debbies.

Phoenix: Quit it with the food.

Diablo: Oops, I’m sorry. I forgot. You know, she took you puking up all over her pretty well. Pretty clever of her to have those paper towels in the front seat. What was wrong?

Phoenix: Car sick.

Diablo: Yeah, at mile ten. With 1530 more to go.

Phoenix: Don’t remind me.

HideNseek

Diablo: I am pretending to be a gecko. See how well I can blend into the carpet.

Phoenix: I'm pretending to be asleep.